Stop ‘Shoulding’ and Start Living Your Truth

Posted by on Aug 18, 2015 in Journal | 0 comments

Stop ‘Shoulding’ and Start Living Your Truth

Summer tends to be the busiest time of the year for most of us. Before we know it, we will have transitioned into Fall and Summer will be behind us. In the past month I have become an Aunt (woohoo!), traveled to 2 different states, seen 3 concerts at Red Rocks, and filled my schedule with private clients and yoga classes almost daily. Whoa!

I realize that if I don’t pause every once and a while to take it all in, I’m going to miss out on the goodness of what’s happening right NOW! We have all said or heard someone say, “Where did the summer go?” Or “I should have done more camping, hiking, relaxing, traveling, etc.” Well, perhaps your summer is unfolding just as it is meant to. Stop ‘shoulding’ and start enjoying what’s happening right now.

When you say, “I should,” it holds a different energy than saying “I desire” or “I will.” ‘Should’ implies that you are not good enough as you are right now. We have all learned throughout our lives what we ‘should’ want or how we ‘should’ be, but we’ve forgotten about what we truly desire. The ‘shoulds’ have clouded our ability to distinguish between what we have been taught is right/good and what we actually desire for ourselves/our lives.

Mindful Exploration
Sit down with paper and a pen. Write down all of the ‘shoulds’ that you tell yourself (ex: “I should work more,” “I should travel more,” “I should have more fun”). Once you have your list, sift through all the ‘shoulds’ and check in with whether or not you actually connect to them. One way to do this is to change the wording from “I should” to “I desire.” With the new wording, does the sentence still resonate with you? Allow yourself to feel the body as you read the sentences. Notice if your body feels expansive when you read the sentences. Do you feel like it’s suddenly easier to breathe? If so, that is a good indication that it is truly a desire for you. If your body feels unaffected or contracted, then that’s probably a message to you that it actually is not in line with your truth. This is a supportive exploration that will realign you with the natural flow of your life.

When I sat down and explored this, I had around 20 ‘shoulds’ but only 4 of them were truly what I desired for my life! It’s incredible what our minds will create to keep us from feeling like we’ve failed in some way.

Whether we realize it or not, everything is always as it is meant to be. This includes the challenging times in life when we feel like we’ve lost our way. It’s the setbacks that give us the space we need to spring forward in order to learn, grow, and explore through life. When I feel like I’ve made it through a challenging time, I also feel like I’ve stepped into a higher level of awareness. I’ve become more conscious of my thought patterns and actions that trigger the setbacks. This is the healing process. When we can look back and be grateful for the experience, then we absorb all of it’s teachings. In light of the seasonal change that’s upon us, trust in the flow of your life. Wherever you are, it is exactly where you are meant to be.

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